Hello, and ficlet: Hodgins/Zack; rating: PG
Title: Analysis and Demonstration
Warning: Unbeta’d. And not really slash.
Word count: just over 300
A/N: No spoilers. Written for terkey, as a spur-of-the-moment bribe/reward for filling me in on part of an episode that I missed. I was encouraged to post it here at 206_bones by someone who shall remain nameless unless it goes over really well. :-)
“...and it was all going great until I kissed her goodnight, and then she practically ran inside. So it’s got to be the kiss.”
“Okay, show me what you did.”
“Well, I put my hands here,” Zack began, moving his hands around in the air in front of him.
“No, on me. Pretend I’m her.”
“Just do it.”
Zack did, blushing and awkwardly placing his hands on Hodgins’ body, only to have Hodgins shake his head and knock Zack’s hands away.
“Okay, let’s start from the beginning.” Hodgins moved even further into Zack’s personal space. “First, smile. Not too confidently, and don’t make it a leer.” Hodgins’ mouth curved up in a small, wry grin, and Zack blinked. “Then touch her face as if it’s what you’ve been wanting to do all night.” He stroked his fingertips down Zack’s cheek as Zack struggled to repress a shiver. “Look at her mouth, then back up at her eyes. It gives her a chance to move away if she really doesn’t want anything to happen.” Zack couldn’t have moved if he’d tried, pinned in place by Hodgins’ voice, now nearly a whisper. “Then slowly, softly, give her one kiss. No tongue.”
Zack felt Hodgins’ lips press against his, warm and soft, and somehow even the mustache scraping against his upper lip felt good. And then the lips were gone, and Hodgins was moving back to his workspace. “Okay?”
“Okay?” Zack repeated stupidly.
“I mean, it’s kind of obvious; no woman wants to be slobbered on on a first date. Well, most of the time, they don’t. And if you find one that does...rowr.” He grinned and went back to work, humming happily, while Zack turned slowly back to his table, licking his lips and re-thinking his plans for next Friday night.
And the crack!Coda:
Zack: "...and afterwards, she couldn't wait to leave. So it must have been the sex."
Hodgins: (heaves long-suffering sigh and begins unbuttoning his blue lab coat) "All right, up on the table."